TEXAS

The Lone Star State

./run -- texas "everything bigger, everything better"

Admin → Status →
🌵

Yeehaw Rate

How often we resist the urge to type sudo rm -rf /

99.97% — Charming

🔥

BBQ Load Average

Number of briskets that must be attended to at all times

2 × Brisket · 0 × Worries

🤠

Helmets Worn

Counties where they've discovered motorcycle helmets exist

127 / 254 · Growing

💧

Hydration Level

"It's 110 degrees but that's just the weather talking"

" naw, sweet tea is water"

🐄 Server Status: moo-ving along fine 🐄

🧱
iptables: DROP or DIE
"Only connections from Texas-approved CIDR ranges shall pass. Bless your heart."
🌡️
Server Room Temp
"It's fine. The AC is just thinking about whether to exist. Much like everything else in August."
📦
Docker Containers
"They are many. They are contained. They are not going to the pharmacy for cigarettes and audio supplies."
🛡️
TLS Certificates
"Let's Encrypt renewing automatically like someone who actually has their life together."
💾
Disk Space
"git status says there is nothing to commit but the drive says otherwise. Classic."
🌀
Cron Jobs
"Running every 15 minutes like well-behaved Texas teenagers. Not like those cron jobs up north."
"This server is up 99.7% of the time.
The other 0.3% is just Texas summer doing sysadmin work."